Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Starting a New Term - Adds Spring to my Step

I'm feeling good today, having had a small respite from griping elderly family members, and having nothing important on the agenda (that I can think of, at least). I'm really hoping I can find a way to connect to my new classmates, but this is always a tricky business, because I'm dreadful at using a phone, and no one uses email, chat (either IRC, Jabber, or the new one, PSYC - see http://www.psyc.eu/psyc.html or even any proprietary one either) as I more primary means of coordinating things. mailing-lists are fairly good, but chat is definitely my preferred mode of communication over long distances in a synchronous fashion. The eCollege version of web forum, called Threaded Discussion, does the job, but underlying that is the assumption that everyone will be unable to communicate effectively at around the same time. I do prefer to type than speak (when attempting formality, anyway, as I love eye-to-eye chatting when you're not being recorded with a microphone, the records of which are to be scrutinized by a bunch of white-coats). I also like testing and trying new technologies, and I have some hope for that new PSYC chat protocol, it sounds like it would work very well, once released. Those guys have managed to hype me up, at any rate.

I definitely want to get a PSYC server running, if given an occasion to do so. (He-he-heeee!)

I'm taking a really trying class, as well as a (hopefully) fun class, the trying one being the COMP100, and the maybe fun one being COMP192. COMP100 was trying, not because it was hard, but due to the exact opposite. I was exerting 12 to 13 times the effort to keep from being sarcastic, unpleasant, exasperated, or something, than actually do the work. I must have succeeded, because, after I did the two labs due the next week in a short time that day, I impressed my instructor with the art in which I completed the work, rather than any disrespect for his class. I'm not saying the class isn't good, or anything like that, but it would be insulting in the extreme if I was unable to test out of it. Father forbid!

At any rate, I'm excited about this other class, this class I haven't experienced as of yet, COMP129. It sounds fun, and I've already heard good reports about the professor. I am not going to let myself be anything less than excellent in that class. According to what I've read and felt, I believe that, once completed successfully, you should be able to take the A+ Certification Exam, and do well (as in pass).

I'm waiting for my chance to prove that I have potential, and that I'm not a completely empty-headed fool.
I'm crazy, not stupid. (At least that's what I keep telling myself. My grandmother is hell-bent on proving just how stupid and useless I am, as is my grandfather. My old Major Payne is trying his best to motivate me with negative reinforcement, which I have grown immune to over the years. The only reason I pay him any mind at all is because I love the sorry sucker. That's the only reason I listen when he tells me I'm under his roof and that he expects the respect he deserves (he does deserve it). My grandfather tell me a lot of things that are difficult to listen to (not because the message inflicts any pain on me, but because I usually have to override the many parts of me that automatically shield me from ridicule, cruel jokes, criticism of any kind, especially negative, and other forms of mental, emotional, or other non-physical abuse, and such defenses take a lot of effort to override. I know it's for the best, logically, to listen to him, and heed the warnings and advice he gives, but the way he delivers the wisdom he does sounds so much like ranting patronization that I have to actively disable my automatic defenses designed to shield me from verbal assaults.

You can tell I have learned a few things about ignoring the stupid kids that like to make fun of kids besides themselves, can't you?

This armor is not enough for my grandfather, though, and I guess he intends to rip these very carefully designed walls down and build them how he wants to.

Ah, well. I love him anyway.

Back to my classes, I'll be going to my first COMP129 class this Wednesday at 6:00 PM in room 254.
Wish me luck!

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